InsaneJournal

voicesinmyhead 007 - What was your greatest loss?
That I was aware of or that I wish I had been more aware of?

Because I can name two losses right off the top of my head -- Grams and Mom.

When Grams died, I felt like my heart was ripped right out of me. She was the one member of the family who understood me, accepted me, and was patient with me no matter how much of a handful I was. She was my best friend and my confidant -- and she always stuck up for me. I ran away from San Francisco when she died. I spent some time thinking that there was nothing for me here without Grams.

I've come a long way since then, but I really don't think I will ever get over losing Grams. I know it still hurts.

Mom died when I was a baby, so the loss I feel about her is an emptiness that will never be able to be filled no matter what I do -- and believe me, there really were times where I tried.

I never got the chance to know my mom and it has been something that has chased me throughout my life and growing up. I got to meet her once, when we went back to the past to find a way to vanquish an evil warlock. You have no idea how hard it was to say goodbye when we had accomplished what we went back for -- or not to interfere with the past in order for her to live. Actually, I tried to, and then had to not leave her the note I had tried to.

In a sense, I lost her all over again when we returned home.


Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: "Charmed"
Word Count: 287